After a recent school shooting, the shooter’s father deflected blame from his son, saying that he had been bullied, but was a good kid.
He was immediately jumped on by critics. Most of them had an argument that ran as follows, “I was bullied all the time and never turned into a mass shooter.”
This argument is a corollary of the standard one for not caring about poor people, “I grew up poor/sick/whatever and I still got rich.”
Now obviously a kid who goes on a mass shooting isn’t a good kid, and obviously also, I hope, a father who loves his son, in the immediate aftermath of something like this, may be in denial and that denial should lead to more sympathy than mockery. If you can’t manage that, at least understand.
But the larger argument is important: the bullying may have been necessary but not sufficient. In other words, the kid, had he not been bullied a lot, might not have gone on a killing spree.
For other people the bullying was not enough.
People are different. What breaks one person doesn’t break another. One succeeds in circumstances another wouldn’t succeed in. A broken down loser like the Civil War’s General Grant (before the war) becomes the war’s greatest general and a two-term president. No war, he’d probably have stayed a loser.
No bullying and that kid might not have gone on a killing spree, even though bullying doesn’t make most people go on killing sprees. But chronic bullying is high stress, and it does break some people, and some of them will be violent.
There are always the extremes: the people on the edges, who are close to breaking or exploding anyway. Push them, poison them, and something goes wrong.
This should be obvious.
What should also be obvious is that explaining something isn’t excusing it. Of course being bullied doesn’t justify going on a killing spree.
But since it is a known factor in causing mass killing sprees maybe we should admit that, and try not to push the one in ten million kid (or adult) over the edge?
Life is luck. Your genetic endowment was luck. Your parents were luck. Your character is luck. It all comes from being born with a specific body in a specific place and time, and everything flows from that.
We want to run from this. We want to believe were are in full control, that we would never do something like “that”, whatever that is. That we would never obey Hitler’s orders (most of us would have, and if you don’t have a record of standing up even when you knew you would be hurt for doing so, you probably would have.)
The kid did something monstrous. The father, understandably, tried to hold onto his view of his kid as good. And while bullying is no excuse, it may be a reason.
And just because you’re rich and were once poor doesn’t mean everyone else should be able to pull themselves up by their bootstraps.
And yeah, although following a mob is a different thing, you almost certainly would have done what Hitler told you to; would have been chopping with a machete in Rwanda, and so on.
This doesn’t mean no one is good, of course. There are those who didn’t obey Hitler. A small minority. There are those who won’t shock a subject in the Millgram experiment, no matter how hard the authority figure pushes (about 5% at the extreme end.) There are always good people.
But most people aren’t good, and they aren’t bad. They are weak, and they follow their personal mob, doing whatever other people they identify with do.
And some people are close to breaking, and one day something, usually some cruelty, pushes them over the edge.
And they become monsters.
The results of the work I do, like this article, are free, but food isn’t, so if you value my work, please DONATE or SUBSCRIBE.


Something is moral if it is good for people you know. Something is ethical if it is good for people you don’t know.