The horizon is not so far as we can see, but as far as we can imagine

David Cameron and a Dead Pig

The allegation has been made that British Prime Minister Cameron put his privates in the mouth of a dead pig. Given how strict British libel laws are, this may well be the case.

I don’t have much to say about the content of the accusation, but it’s a good opportunity to talk about PR and damage control.

Tory PR people and friendly media should do two things and two things only.

One: Put out two explanations, meant for friendlies. The first is the “youthful hijinks” line. The second is the “It didn’t really happen” routine—not credible.

Do this for two days maximum.

Then do the second thing: Shut up. This isn’t, as people say, a conversation you want to have. No fuel. No engagement. No comment.

And, well, maybe a third thing: Advance parties should be on the watch for protesters dressed as pigs, with pictures of pigs, etc. There’s nothing they’re going to be able to do about the odd pig squeal sound, I’m afraid, that’s just going to be part of Cameron’s life, for however long that life may be.

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  1. markfromireland

    The right honourable member for Porksmouth.


  2. markfromireland

    I wonder can Charlie Brooker sue for breach of copyright? Even if he can’t I hope he tries – the headlines would be simply irresistible.


  3. Both Sides Do It


    Bae of Pigs


    Tha-thee-a-tha-thee-a-tha-that’s all folks

  4. jcapan

    Assuming the pig was in a blanket, look for Cam’s cum

  5. markfromireland

    @ Both Sides Do ItThe conservatives can no longer complain about Corbyn liking Hamass.

    The moral of the story is not to piss off powerful and wealthy party benefactors by stabbing them in the back.


  6. Ian Welsh

    Machiavelli: either caress a man, or destroy him, do not injure him but leave him able to harm you.

  7. markfromireland

    @ Ian – yup. Particularly as PMs are increasingly ephemeral whereas the power of billionaires like Ashcroft tends to be rather more long-lasting.


  8. Ian Welsh

    A guy like Cameron can’t severely damage Ashcroft without taking down other backers he can’t injure.

    A flaming lefty, otoh… “so… what are your major holdings? I sense incoming tax increases, levies, regulations and nationalizations!”

  9. markfromireland

    @ Ian. True enough and the lefty can even say it’s a principled action.


  10. markfromireland

    This could be the start of a lucrative niche for prostitutes of either sex all they need is a pig costume and then to huff and puff and blow.

    Ordinary blow jobs £100
    “The Cameron” £250.


  11. giveoligarchsthemussolinitreatment

    That was my favorite Black Mirror episode.

  12. Tom W Harris

    Take it easy, guys. You’re going hog wild over this.

  13. Spinoza

    Glad to see you learned writers and thinkers can ham it up every once in a while.

  14. The Tragically Flip

    Guessing they have more material like that. This thing supposedly happened in 2014. There are supposedly pictures that haven’t surfaced…yet.

    What even more awful policy does Cameron do now to placate and stop this bleeding?

    If the Party was smart, they’d take him down from inside. He’s compromised, effectively blackmailed.

  15. markfromireland

    I’m sorry Ian there are some temptations I just can’t resist:


  16. Elliott

    someone on twitter:
    The Prosciutto Affair

  17. davidhameron

    David Cameron’s favorite play is “I Stuck Me Dick In A Dead Pig’s Mouth And Let Someone Take A Picture, Stupid Git I Am”. His second favorite play is “Hamlet”.

  18. V. Arnold

    Dead pig whatever…
    Now this is really interesting;

    George Galloway and Damian McBride ( special advisor to Gordon Brown) make a lot of sense about what’s going on in England’s political scene…

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